This past September marked two full years since I moved to Italy! In this post, I thought I would share a list of 10 differences between Italians and Americans I’ve noticed throughout my few years here! Keep in mind that I’m writing this from my own personal perspective based on my own experiences and perceptions of life in America vs Italy.
Not all Italians are the same and the same goes for Americans.
And then there’s me, an American living in an Italian world. I fall somewhere in between all these differences in culture, as I do my best to adapt to my new home, and I think I’ve done a great job, but there are some parts of me that will always be American!
1. Family over everything
I’ve mentioned this once before in my post about my au pair experience, and I’ll mention it again. Family is LIFE for Italians. Even if you saw your mom yesterday, you should still expect a phone call today, maybe two times today. In Italy, you visit with family members daily if you don’t already live with them, and it’s totally normal to live with your parents until you’re in your 30s. Families support and take care of each other, no questions asked.
I know that many Americans tend to have a more individualist mind set. We just find the idea of living with our parents after the age of 18 to be so uncomfortable. Now, I don’t know for certain, but I think one factor that might play into this is the fact that (many, not all) Americans start building their own family a lot sooner than many Italians.
They get married and want children around their mid 20s, or at least they want to create a completely independent life for themselves. Italians usually don’t plan to have children until their early 30s, so they opt to save money and stay close to their family for as long as possible until they are ready to get their own place.
2. Sacred lunch time
Lunch breaks are taken seriously in Italy. No eating a ham sandwich in 20 minutes at your desk and then getting back to work. Italians will drive or walk home to eat with their family during their lunch breaks.
So therefore most businesses are closed from 1-3pm, every day. Need to stop by the pharmacy, bank or market on your lunch break? Nope, sorry it’s closed. It’s taken me some time to get used to things not being available to me all day every day, but honestly it’s not so bad.
In big cities though, things like grocery stores and shopping malls are kept open all day.
3. Small & sweet breakfasts
Italian’s and American’s have very different definitions of breakfast! One morning Lucas uncle stopped by to visit while I was making myself a big American breakfast of bacon eggs and hash browns. He was shocked that I was eating a “very big lunch” so early in the morning.
Italians prefer small and sweet breakfasts. Cookies and coffee are very common, and even sometimes just a piece of chocolate! I can handle just a brioche sometimes but Luca usually just has an espresso and he’s good until lunch.
4. Weather
If you ever visit Italy in winter, even if it’s a warm 50 degrees out, I suggest you wear a warm jacket and heavy coat. And for the love of god, put on a scarf, or else you run the risk of hearing “Aren’t you freezing?! You must cover your neck or you will get a soar throat!” It comes from a place of caring, I know. But it can get old to be treated like a heathen simply for not wearing a scarf.
Oh and no open toed shoes until summer. not even a warm spring day can protect you from the people starring at your exposed toes at the wrong time of year!
And I couldn’t never leave out the most important part of weather related Italian culture. The weather apparently, has a direct effect on your mood. Is your husband being extra grumpy or the drivers on the road driving extra reckless? Well, that’s because there’s a storm coming tomorrow afternoon, of course!
The changing weather is often blamed for many things. And I must say, I actually like this little superstition! I can just blame the coming rains for my bad attitude! Lot’s of Italians do it why can’t I? Americans on the other hand have no magic left in their lives and probably wouldn’t accept my excuse.
5. Clean houses
Ok, this one could very well just be my skewed perspective from growing up in a tiny low income home that was always full of kids and dogs and messes that my poor mom was always trying to keep up with.
But Italians seem to keep their homes very clean and tidy. Like, take the shoes off at the door, sweep, vacuum, clean the bathroom, shake out the rugs and hang clothes out to dry almost every single day.
This was not the case for my household, and it has caused me to feel like a dirty peasant in comparison to the tidy houses I see here.
6. More active lifestyle
One great thing about Italians, is that in general they live a more active lifestyle. They choose to walk when most Americans (including myself) would have choose to take the car. This could be because Italian cities are more compact compared to sprawling American cities and suburbs.
But also, I’ve noticed that Italians seem to take up more hobbies like hiking and skiing and in the evenings they go for walks just for fun. Where as Americans seem to get stuck in a cycle of drive to work – work – drive home – sit on couch and repeat.
Again, I’m not saying all Americans have no hobbies or are inactive, I’m just saying that it seems to me like Italians make time in their schedules to be active when many Americans are only active if they have time.
7. Customer service
*Disclaimer, this part about lack of customer service only applies to big city bars and supermarkets. The customer service at your local little coffee shop will be amazing! Especially if you personally know the owners, they will treat you like family.
I myself spent a good part of my life working in the service industry, so I basically have a permanent smile and “the customer comes first” tattooed across my brain. So, I wont lie, the complete lack of interest in me as a customer when I first moved to Italy, really bothered me. At the bar I would think, “Seriously you can even give me a smile or a ‘thanks have a good one?”
But eventually I stopped being offended and I became ok with the fact the barista doesn’t owe me a smile if she doesn’t feel like it and the food and drinks and quality of what I’m paying for are all that matters.
One great part about the lack of shits given by service industry workers, is when, for example, you lose your metro ticket and you have no money to buy a new one, and the guy working at the gate will just wave you through and say “eeeh vabbé” meaning “ehh, whatever just go”.
And yes, I’m aware that this could be due to my privileged life of being a cute white woman, but I’ve also seen workers just not care and let things slide to other people as well!
8. Social life
As it just so happens, while I was trying to stay focused and get this post finished, two different family members happened to be passing by our house and wanted to come in and say hello. Luca yelled “Babe, so and so is here to say hi.”
The American in me rolled my eyes and said “Really?! I’m trying to work, cant we talk to them later?” But then the Italian side, that’s always growing more powerful inside my soul, calms me down and says, “oh come on, 10 minutes (ok more realistically 30 minutes) of your time is the least you can give someone that you love. So then, I stopped what I was working on and went down stairs for some small talk.
9. Driving
Anxiety. The definition of anxiety should be “The feeling you get when sitting in the passenger seat while your speed demon/hot headed husband drives through 100 roundabouts at rush hour in Milan.”
You cannot be a passive driver if you want to get anywhere by car in Italy. Which, of course, I am a very passive driver so I will just say that I don't drive often here. If you’re going the speed limit some one will honk at you. If you’re being courteous and don’t stop in the middle of an intersection during a red light, someone will yell at you.
For sure someone will park their car in the middle of the road so they can run into the pharmacy real quick. And very few people will use their blinkers or stay in their own dang lane. It’s the wild west compared to the US.
10. Fashion,
Italians indeed love their fashion. But even when they aren’t trying, the ordinary person you see in the bar on a boring Friday night will look nice. And I don’t mean super dressy, but it’s obvious that they care about their appearance while keeping it simple at the same time.
They are just always dressed a tiny bit more formal.
You know in the US when you sometimes see someone basically in their PJs at the grocery store? You will never see that in Italy. People just look more sleek and put together. The “messy” style which I thought was cute back in US, is not a thing in Italy.
As much as I adore and the put together Italian style, I will also always love the casual carefree classic American style as well.
תגובות